Snowshoe

Went snowshoeing for the first time. It was... ok. Companions were great, but weather was a bit too cold, actually my hands were miserably painful cold for the first little while, but eventually warmed up. (had planned to bring heat packs but forgot them) Breeze on the face still uncomfortable sometimes. Otherwise, it's pretty similar to hiking, some beautiful scenery. Wasn't very strenuous as we were in flat areas. Could do a little more work by walking in the stuff that wasn't packed down.

Will I go again? Maybe. Think I enjoyed the xc skiing more, though, it's hard to say how much was due to the weather.

As far as snowshoes go... I should have tried taking them off at some point. It seemed like for the packed down portion of the track, you could have walked in regular boots no problem. For the fluffy unpacked stuff, snowshoes still sink down in it, and then it's more effort to take the next step because of lifting the snow that has caved in on top of the snowshoe. But, maybe with the snowshoe you only sink down 1 foot instead of 2 feet. I should have tested. Next time.

Honesty

Well, i could feel she was lying or hiding something. Then, facebook provided some evidence. It's not even something that would matter, except that if she lied, then it becomes something that matter. Though the lie in itself is the biggest problem... if she can lie in person to my face so easily, especially when provided an opportunity to correct it, then how can i be sure about anything else?

Scared to say anything about it, cause I don't want to lose anything. But if i don't, it'll just continue to eat me inside. (and the other point is, is there really anything there to lose?) So I said something finally. And she made an unclear explanation, and insisted she was truthful and i need to think positive about her.

So where to go from here? To review the strengths and weaknesses:

strengths:
1. i really like her

weaknesses:
1. not fluent in the same language
2. oceans apart
3. combining 1 & 2 vastly magnifies their individual effects
4. little trust (also magnifies 2)
5. different cultures? different religions? (i think officially i'd be required to adopt islam)
6. i'm naturally shallow

well... see how things go. not focus on the negatives so much. still better than nothing. And maybe one day we'll sing that shania twain song.

Torn away

The notice came suddenly... I would be heading home in a couple days. I guess I could understand it from their point of view, but, I was really unhappy about it. I really wanted to stay. As mentioned, I enjoyed my routine, and also I had one close friend and one 'girlfriend' that I would really really miss. Unfortunately, not much time to figure out what I could do. I was honestly strongly considering trying to stay. Maybe find some way to rent an apartment or something, or maybe there was a cheap hotel nearby. Unfortunately, that evening, she wasn't responding to my sms, and all the next morning still silence to my sms and calls. So, with needing to decide, and not knowing how she really felt about me or my idea of staying (would she think it's wonderful? would she think it's ridiculous?), I went ahead and started booking tickets home. Ended up not being able to change the old ticket without a large fee, so had to buy a brand new one way ticket home, what a waste.

Eventually got to talk with her (she still didn't want to meet that day for some reason). After some discussion, she decided she is willing to try long distance relationship if I am. Though some things felt suspicious, don't know how to describe, like when asking how she felt, would just ask me back in return, then say she felt the same... Anyway, also determined that she would have been happy if i had tried to stay in jakarta on my own time, though it would be complicated and also I'm not sure when I'd get to see her since currently I was only seeing her when I visited the gym during her work hours, never wanted to meet outside of work...

Well, that didn't really matter anymore cause I had the ticket home and had pretty much resigned myself to using it.

Ever since, I have been strongly regretting... I really should have told the company, "it'll cost >$1200 for the new ticket to send me home, so, just give me the $1200 and I'll take care of myself for a couple weeks and take the original flight home." From a practical point of view, it should have been ok with them. But I didn't do it.

Now back in calgary, I've been pretty unhappy... have way more jetlag than normal, my eyes are still bloodshot a few days later. My gut is unhappy, it was fine with indonesian street food but seems airport and airline civilized food is unsafe. The coldness and dryness is brutal, I'm by myself most of the time, exercise is inconvenient and I feel little energy or motivation for most things. Blah, I should still be there.

Ok, I'm not there. I know that, stop focussing on it. Need to make the best of calgary time. And maybe can think about planning to go back there again.

Routine

Got into a pretty good routine. Every day I would get up and go to breakfast around 7:30-8:00, usually see coworkers there. Afterwards, back to the room, not sure what to do for a while. Later in morning, go to the gym for exercise. Afterwards, maybe some lunch. Usually spend a couple more hours in the gym visiting Eka, depending on her work shift. Sometime, take a bahasa lesson in rosetta stone. Later, probably meet with Ellis for dinner and for some more of the evening. Maybe visit Eka again if she's back in the evening. Afterwards, head to bed. Somehow, it's actually more busy than that, but those are the main highlights of the daily activities. Sometimes go out to do something, but not much really to do.

Overall a pretty good system though, and useful... everyday exercise, should be fitter than normal because of it. Also everyday study and learn some language. And everyday get to spend some time with some close friends, something really valuable to me.

Bunga-bunga

The most awesome Indonesian words I have learned... On valentines day, I'm going to give my girlfriend some bunga-bunga! Oh yeah! Sounds dirty huh? Bunga-bunga actually means flowers in Indonesian.

As for girlfriend... i sortof maybe do have one... If so, would be the first time ever for valentines day, feel a little nervous and don't really know what I'm doing. Actually, really don't know what I'm doing at all regarding her. It's ridiculous to try to start a relationship with someone who doesn't speak the same language as me and lives in a different country and culture and religion etc... Totally stupid idea. but still...

Rattus

A couple times, my friend pointed out a rat in the alley when eating, but, I never saw it. I figured it would just be like a large mouse. Finally, I saw it... There are a lot of stray cats around, and admittedly they're not particularly big, but this rat could probably eat them. It was scary big.

Food and stuff

Think I chewed on a chicken head a bit. I wondered "what's this pointy bit of bone" then realized it was probably a beak. Ew. Oh well.

Starting to get quite tired of the food here. Been over 3 weeks of buffet breakfast and restaurant lunch and dinners. Doesn't seem to be that much variety. Well, there sortof is, and sortof isn't, if you know what I mean. Many choices, but all similar style. I was quite happy to find a "hong kong cafe" the other day, and then another day found something resembling italian pasta.

Most of the alley was closed on saturday night, but a couple places (happening to be the places I wanted) were open... After the late dinner, I saw a few of the people playing cards. Went over to take a look, it was Dominoes. After a couple rounds, I joined in with them. It was quite fun. don't really need the same language for that, though sometimes a couple rules are hard to understand. One guy was really animated, kept pointing at the other guy and giving the thumbs down with a frown, then bursting out laughing. Probably I can go there another evening.

I met someone named Eka. Then I met someone named Eca. Then when I tried to meet Eca in the mall, there was someone waiting but didn't quite look like Eca but noone else was there so I talked to her, and found she was Esa. Feels like someone's playing a trick on me.

Overall the days have not been too interesting recently.

Another strike against religion

I've met a couple nice girls here, maybe can become friends. But of course, the girl with the heart-melting smile is also the one who speaks the least english.

I recall translation and languages having something to do with the biblical "tower of babel", but I didn't really know what the story was. So I briefly looked it up. From what I can tell, people were getting along really well, unified in peace and cooperation, and god didn't like this so he decided to screw with us by scattering us apart and giving us different languages, so we couldn't work as well together. And so that her and I can't have a real conversation. Thanks a lot.

(see Genesis 11:1-9)