Sitting by the fire

In the back yard. It's been so long since I've sat by a fire (outdoors). Years. Kindof weird to notice things that were so normal have now become so rare and uncommon. Heard a few fireworks go off. Canada day next weekend. US independence day right after that... used to sometimes be in the US camping during that time, a couple years we were in Walla Walla. I remembered something I did back then... regarding a girl I liked. I used to be so lame back then. I guess I still am, but not as much. The difference being I know it now. I think that's the main problem, is not being lame or stupid or whatever, but knowing that you are. Though perhaps at that point, the issue becomes to just accept it and not care. Lisa, the point of moby dick is: be yourself.

Realised it's not quite true, there was a bit of a bonfire on a beach in costa rica near a bar where we sat for a while. Prior to that, also a bonfire on a beach, wreck beach, at the end of Explore. Wasn't down there too long. On the way back up, got to pretend to be a knight again and escorted Phanny (and her injured knee) up the stairs. What men really want.

Dragonboat today, was a bit windy for steering, but nothing too exciting (just a bit cold). Went into the lanes to see how they look from a steers point of view. During a start, the boat had much more power and I went a bit off track. As we came in to dock, Jay decided we should veer away from dock and do a u-turn, made things a little messy, but ended up fine of course. Guess it'll be a few weeks before I steer again. I think I need some experience in 'real-world' situations, where there are other boats, waves/wind, and some power and continuous paddling (instead of just 20 hits at a time). Maybe sometime should get more involved with the team / coaching / calling stuff, but I don't feel part of this team anyways and actually don't feel much interest to be. Hard for me to feel like buddies with the parents crowd. (though some of them could be fun I'm sure)